Have you ever heard the definition of insanity? Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Hmmmm...
This is what I've been feeling alot like latley. I have been getting frustrated because I can't do the things I used to do the same way as before Lola was born. Like have devotions without having to take a break to change a diaper...and my pjs cause the diaper apparently didn't work so well :/ or cleaning the apartment with a baby attached to my hip, or doing practically anything one handed. It's a crazy world, let me tell you!
There have always been points in my life, when the way I did things needed to change. Whether that be because I wanted better results, or because my circumstances changed and it just wasn't practical to keep moving in the same direction.
I can't for the life of me figure out why this time it is so hard for me to let go of these old ways of doing things. I know I'm stubborn, but this is ridiculous! I heard a song recently about letting go of what is sure for something more. Maybe this is the source of my hesitation, fear of the unknown. What greater unknown than the future and motherhood. Typing those words even gives me a little anxiety.
I've never ventured out on something where I had NO CLUE what I was doing and it had such a major impact on someones life, someone who I love more than anything. (now typing with one hand :) Being a parent is making me trust God more. I have to, its either that or lose my mind with worry.
There has to be a better way out there somewhere, I just need to hold onto God until I figure that out and not give up!